I felt neglected and like he stopped trying in our relationship. And thats is the absolute best you can do. What do I do? He now expects this but does not reciprocate. Now I am sitting alone in my room crying and reading online articles about how to feel better about myself. There is just nothing in return. So I stated being more involved in his hubbies then usual and listening. Its so annoying because Im a feminist but I just want to feel secure. He is quite affectionate and does make sure the bills are paid etc. I have tried so many times to let the relationship go and have broken up with him, but he does not want to let me go. Why should women do all the work no they shouldnt it should be a mutual thing. You should never settle. I thought hed at least try to make a plan. Sometimes when I try to kiss him he shoved me away. I dont know how to bring this up without making him nervous about how he acts, as I dont want to make him uncomfortable about himself. And more likely, he wont change. Same thing happened another day and another. If he isnt putting any effort in the beginning of the relationship then I think its time to let him go. I trust him and I wanna keep trusting him. I waited though and suffered through almost being forced to move across the country when after he graduated and wanted a new job but couldnt find one- that was the only opportunity he had and was about to force me to uproot MY life, quit school, to go. When I ask, he gives me some reasons. He brought me back the same time as last time. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. My boyfriend and I started with a lot of stress in our relationship. I noticed he changed a bit, he does little effort in our relationship. I feel like a roommate or guest or kept woman instead of woman he loves. Maybe he always expects you to be waiting for him, ready to do whatever he wants. I have been with my bf for 5 years. After that night i got my phone taken because my grades were awful (bc of home issues) so me and him didnt talk much but that did not stop me.I would sneak the phone and iPad all the time and talk to him still but then my mom found out about this boyfriend of mine (my sister is a snitch) and i told her that i liked him but i wasnt dating him. He talks about himself so much but never asks about me. I love him but Im not fully happy with all this lazy effort ?. He stopped foreplay. I went back to check on him and he was online for like a minute..(Thinking he was asleep I left sweet messages for him to read when he wakes up. First, the more you push, the more he will pull back, because whatever his reason is, the pressure from you wont help. i yearn for good morning texts or check ins throughout the day. You can let go slowly at first and just start seeing other people. This makes me feel like he just needs me to help him with work. I absolutely abhor talking to anyone ever. This weekend I called for a break, and told him we should spend time apart. Life is too short to waste it being miserable and stressed out and fighting over stupid shit. As well BALANCE is a VERY hard thing for men I have learned. I would have send him through money to pay for the tea, its annoying tho that I know he went out that night and bought all his workmates drinks. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? Its more to the story but I just want to vent that.. hey girl wake up,do you want to spend the rest of your life living like that? We couldnt go one day without some little thing exploding. He has joint custody of his 17 yr old daughter and about 2 months ago he found out that her stepdad had been engaging in sexual activity with her. Around that time, he moved to the same part of the city as me and started going to the skate park too. We no longer sleep in the same bed, he has chosen to sleep on the couch. I simply did it because I knew I wasnt perfect and I wanted to become the women I needed to be for him. Think about your dream guy, and you will find him. When I got back from fall breakEverything changed../me him and his sister made a plan for when i graduated, i was gonna move in with him and his sister and go to college around there but that changed to him getting an apartment and a moped and me moving in with him and going to college. It is almost like I was forcing him to show that he cared. There could be many reasons why your partner is not showing you the affection you desire, and according to therapist, dating and relationship coach and former matchmaker He knew my day was not going well and that I have dinner ready for him every single night and just once, I ask him to just do it for me! Next day he texted me telling me I looked cute etc. Its too much. Let me know your thoughts! Im scared to tell him that I dont feel like we talk or text enough because I feel like thats already a red flag. It doesnt matter what words youre saying, the message is clear: I will tolerate this, as long as you let me explain repeatedly why I dont agree with it. The most important lesson Ive learned from my love life is this: My role is to set boundaries. Needless to say, I do not want to get married, to see if that will make a difference. We need to be very careful with whom we share our hearts with. I used to love doing that! time and time again i have told him why i was upset, what he could do to make the situation better and everything in between, yet he still does nothing. He didnt want to and i ended up cheating. He doesnt call me much. He told me he loved me within weeks of us meeting. he said hell give me more time but nothing ever changes. I love him so much but just dont understand why he doesnt care when I am upset. My bf has been acting distance from me lately. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. It is just hurtful to know that he could not even think of doing this one thing for me. When I asked for a picture of his siblings and friends, he refused again saying they are private people and doesnt have to do with our relationship. Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. Perhaps he wasnt taught how to love a woman, and he hasnt taken time to learn what goes into a happy, healthy relationship. And when we actually spent time together we always just went for a walk couple times a week or we met to have sex, we never did anything else. You deserve to be treated well and loved the way you want to be loved. All he does is playing fucking video games all day and night. He has motivation and spends money on doing that but what about me lol, he puts no effort into our relationship. He tells me that he loves me very much and I know he does. He wont text me all day till I text him. His What am I not doing for you now that you want me to do? or Have I not done enough for you? bullsh*t attitude is bringing me to near madness. And, your definition of not making an effort may not match your boyfriends definitionwhich means youre operating from a completely different set of expectations. Now, anytime I ask him to do laundry he throws a temper tantrum like a toddler, banging shit around, and still doesnt do the simple task I asked him to do. Another thing is when Im at his house, I help him do things as far as remodeling a business, such as painting, knocking plaster off the walls, moving very large windows, doors, fireplace mantels, etc. Ive tried to initiate intimacy and have been rejected because hes tired. Doesnt want to go do nothing but work on projects for the house. Let YOU be your super woman! I used to brag up the fact that he was one of those guys who would actually reply to all of a lengthy message so to speak but lately he ignores a lot of whats said as if he just doesnt care. The first two years of the relationship he was wonderful. Need. If I were you Id take a break and keep your heart open for a new partner who is more compatible with you and whos needs match with yours, at least whos match a bit more than he does. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Putting yourself in your boyfriends shoes is important when youre wondering what to do about his lack of effort. It breaks my heart not talking to him and hearing about his day but I know this was for the best. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months also and at the beginning he put in so much effort above and beyond and now its like he is a different person. Covid has not helped at all. After that I had to go home cause it was starting to get dark. Sometimes he will notice mistakes I make on the work but not notice how much I need his affection. Then rock bottom hits, I ended up having to go to urgent care bc of an allergic reaction to a flu shot I had gotten. And I would listen but then my insecurities would come back and were back to where we started. okay so how i try to avoid causing a scene over tht is i would comeover to his place, thts the only place he would be fine because if i ask him to meet me at my area or anywhr else he wouldnt want to. And so its for the most part become an issue I think between us. Its about dealing with regret, coping with guilt, and healing shame. He called and asked me to come and get himwhich I did. Be someone who demands respect, dont waste any more of your time with someone who isnt hearing you. Girl, thats not fair to you. He just replied by saying he didnt have any money. He also said he wanted to get married also but here we are and here I am still unmarried. There is someone else for you. I made it to the driveway before I felt so uncomfortable I ran inside to put on jeans and a tee shirt. He gets angry and its caused a lot of fights lately. Ive been in same situation. I bought so much things to do for his birthday . He say that he dosnt want to sex with me. Things started getting better and then crashed on the rocks. But for him, anniversaries are pointless. It has still been difficult for me since we spent so much time together. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. My fiance, my 12 year old son, and i have been living together a second time(in his house). sometimes comes to my place to have sex. But Im starting to realize my own self worth. And I decided Ive had enough, and it wasnt even a full month yet! So, I hate to call him my boyfriend because he is late 50s and I am 47. If his texts arent super time-sensitive, then its okay to I love him very much and I know that he loves me but deep down i often wonder how much i mean to him or if i mean much at all. Weve been together for 2 years or so. Ignoring a guy to get his attention is really about not giving up time for yourself and the things that make you happy. Its been almost 2 yrs with him and I hot him gifts ( handmade thoughtful gift and a tshirt) he hot me nothing for my bday. I thought after he quit his job he would have no excuse, but now he just puts even more time into video games. He used to be very motivated and neat. We just hang out in my house. Around the 5th month, he asked me to be his girlfriend but then he quickly retracted it after realizing how serious we were about to be. Stop yourself from bombarding him with messages. Im always the one organizing my life around his and making sure we see each other. The point Im trying to make is, if you settle for mistreatment and excuses for why its ok, youll only end up resentful and unable to trust anyone again. We dont even have a date on when we decided to be together. I asked when he might feel comfortable seeing me again. NO CLEANING. You only care about yourself, youre lazy out of anger.. which it catches up to me and makes me awful because I know his lack of energy plays a large part of it but how am I supposed to feel or do.. to make it even better he recently told me after a large fight about laundry or something I barely remember, that hes decided to go for traveling nursing in California this spring because he will make more Money (something he is very stressed out about) and I dont know what to do because thats not part of our plan. 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. I know its a tough pill to swallow, but in time you will heal. 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